Gas Guzzler Strategist T-Shirts

Gas eyedropper.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

Oil shock.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

The five inhospitable gas giants

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

"Palmer, I want you to see to the legwork; Moscowitz, you'll be my eyes and ears."

'Guzzle - guzzle - guzzle!' (hippy to big car driver).

Gas price rollercoaster.

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

312 - Eat A Lot On The First Date

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

Gasoline fuel theft

'This is where his experience begins to pay off.'

Helium Parachute

Addiction: high gas prices.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."