Gas Gauge Philosopher T-Shirts

'I'm normally optimistic, but here lately, every time I look at the gas gauge, it's half empty.'

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

Oil shock.

Critical Ethanol report

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

Fuels paradise.

The five inhospitable gas giants

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

The oil crisis.

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

'Oh, we would never throw money at anything...we love money too much.'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

'At a conservative estimate, there's five billion gallons of shale gas under your lower molars.'

Helium Parachute

Losing Money on Gas.

"Label says it's organic. That just means it's made in the State of Organ."

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

Useful and Useless Screws

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

"Did the Doctor give you anything for your wind?"

Oil Cuts.

'Your teeth are okay, but your gums will have to come out.'

Helium (tanker truck)