Gas-guzzler Critic T-Shirts

"My other car has lower emissions."

'Ozonhole!'

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

Gas eyedropper.

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

'Guzzle - guzzle - guzzle!' (hippy to big car driver).

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

Addiction: high gas prices.

Helium Parachute

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

'He's been persuaded to change his behaviour in response to the Government's green taxes.'

"You say you were robbed? Could you describe the culprit?"

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

'I'm normally optimistic, but here lately, every time I look at the gas gauge, it's half empty.'

'It takes 5 gallons and $127 to go to the end of the driveway, but it's worth it. I only wish it came in a larger model.'

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

So we hijacked a car, rammed an ATM and they got us when we ran out of money filling the car with petrol.

"Didn't the consumer financial protection bureau used to be right here...?"

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

CSA bogging down a truck

SUV has a drinking problem.

"I don't want to buy a car just fill up my own"

'They want us to assess a $10 penalty on customers who fill out deposit slips in the wrong color ink.'