Garlic Experimenter Gifts

Is there more to being undead than chasing women? What am I really trying to hide by wearing a cape? Maybe I should give garlic another chance. For a vampire, Vlad was surprisingly reflective.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

Lockdown casserole

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'