Garlic Dodger T-Shirts

"....and hold the garlic."

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

Skiing Accidents.

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

'What I mainly want to get out of this meeting is myself.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

"Sergio, just for you, I made this cake glucose free.... I don't know how to make glucose free."

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"It's a new app that warns me of anything that has pumpkin spice in it."

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

Cone of Silence

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

'I won the garlic eating competition.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

Survivors of Near-Flu Experiences

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

Kate didn't listen to idle gossip. . . she got her dirty laundry fix at the coin-op.

'For the last time, Ken, I did not back over anything! You're imagining things! ... Now get out of the cart, wade into that pond and retrieve your ball!'

Dan was becoming increasingly lactose intolerant.

"Baldo? You left green beans on your plate!"

"If my wife calls, I'm at the protest."

'I've always gotten pleasure cheating on my income tax, but the creme de la creme is cheating via electronic filing.'

Countless people talk behind my back --- I go to lots of movies.

Mobile Lure

Extremely Lactose Intolerant