Garden-to-table Enthusiast Gifts

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Come dine with me!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Try to guess the continent dining...

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Garden Goddess.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Bee flying to another flower.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Cats and gardens.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Baker Romance

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"