Garden Griper T-Shirts

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

The Jeopardy of Progress

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Barbecue

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'