Garden Greenhorn Gifts

Novice gardener - not recognising daffodil

Humans...What is their purpose?

"I love you too, big guy."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Fish want out of polluted river.

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

'May the forest be with you.'

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

I want to talk about the environment...

We practically live out here in the summer.

Show and Tell.

The Authentic Christmas.

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

It's the biofuel generation.

Urban cops protecting a flower growing in the city.

"You look like you could use a hug."

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

Watering the garden in the rain.

'Sure I care about the ozone and the environment. But what can I do? I'm just a bump on a log?'

"What am I, chopped liver?"

The oil trap.

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

"We ship ours from Deckville to Lyleport."

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."

"Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator."