Garden Goblin T-Shirts

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Horror Stories.

Show and Tell.

Watering the garden gnome

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Goblin.

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

Dustbin monster.

"Genome, Bobby, not gnome."

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

Elf Farm

"We re-named our introductory classes."

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

Mower Fraud!

Spring

'I think the postman has got lost again.'

Monster Plant.

'You can't beat home groan.'

'Well, I'm sorry it's not perfect Jane, but you try putting up decking with nothing on'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

Alice in Wonderland: Flamingo Croquet.