Garden Goblin T-Shirts

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Horror Stories.

We practically live out here in the summer.

Show and Tell.

Watering the garden gnome

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

Goblin.

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

Dustbin monster.

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

"Genome, Bobby, not gnome."

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

"We re-named our introductory classes."

Elf Farm

Mower Fraud!

Welcome to GNOME Alaska

Spring

'You can't beat home groan.'

"Trojan garden gnome? Did not see that coming."

Monster Plant.

'I think the postman has got lost again.'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

'Well, I'm sorry it's not perfect Jane, but you try putting up decking with nothing on'