Garden Centre Manager T-Shirts

Garden Gnome Sales Supervisor

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

"So I can eat better here at work."

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

'Pay outhouse' with a sign that says, 'Drop 25¢ in can.'

Arctic Hothouse

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

'Loosing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...'

Mr. Tatnall's daycare "Just don't kill each other"

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

'With all the time you spend in the red, maybe you should change the name of this place to Chapter 11 Vineyards.'

'Strategic plan B: we chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

"That's not our logo. That's the company's flowchart."

A hiker in the wilderness encounters a suggestion box.

Didn't that use to be Hogan's scrap yard?

'I've found your niche, Wilson. I'm transferring you to our day care center!'

Garden store owner chasing away birds from his seed display.

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

"Well, goodbye old friend. You were always there for me, obedient and loyal... The best husband I've ever had..."

Football fan

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

Vineyard Tasting Room. Books have "best sellers" lists and wines have "best cellars" lists. But unlike digital books, digital wines will never compete with the original version!

Man to man about man at desk being watered: 'A bit of nurturing and he should grow into the job nicely.'

Grape vines think alike.

Caliban Park

"There's been a 27% cut in our customer empathy budget, so you'll have to tell them to sod off."

Flower Show Information. What brings my favorite and only son-in-law here? I'm keeping my nursery up to date on best horticultural practices

'Four years, for a wine degree, from UC Davis...for this.'

Garden centre shopper please by 'Satchmo' gnome

"Hot sun, metal slide . . . not a good combination!"