Garage Sale Strategist T-Shirts

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"There's more inside."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

Gerald Ratner's return

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

Entertainment systems

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

Sinking sales

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"