Garage Philosopher T-Shirts

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

Useful and Useless Screws

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Jurassic Parking Lot

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Organic Soldering.

Inflating Boobs.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

Bob’s Museum

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

The Boys of Indian Summer

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Animals are smarter than we think!

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

When did you last have your oil changed?

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Acme Flyswatters.

Rudy, is there life after battery life? I don't understand, Doug 2.0. If we have made our last computation, if our processor has expired. Do we ascend to some other network, a place without pop-ads and spam? Are you sick, Doug 2.0? Are you dying? Negative. It has contracted a terrible, irreversible virus. Oh! Your laptop has died and you want to know if it's going to heaven. Will it look down on me and still track my movements? How a geek mourns.

His and Hers Garage

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'