Gangster Goofball Gifts

Ostritch Gangsters.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Shoot For The Moon

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Mobsters at the Beach

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

The Deaths take a selfie.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Did you remember to whack the cat?"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Mario's Family Portraits.

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

"You're gonna put me on that Nice List. Capeesh?"