Gangster Gifts

"Vinnie, we gotta talk about what 'bookmaking' means."

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'Well, this is a pleasant surprise...I say I can't pay you back and you want to take me swimming!?'

'You do a good job here and maybe the Don will promote you.'

'If you can't distinguish right from wrong, you have no business being the head of a crime family.'

"Talc is cheap."

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Can it, Louie! You knew damn well it was pajama day!"

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

"You should know by now, nobody puts the bite on me and gets away with it!"

'Big Mikey will now add a few bullet points.'

Affectation? No, I really am having violin lessons!

"You understand this was just business."

"Take a long drink, son. Someday it will all be yours."

"Luca Brazi sleeps with the fishes..."

'Keep an eye on Jimmy the Shark during today's meeting. You can always tell if he's planning a double-cross by the way he fidgets with his iPhone.'

"But that's enough about me. Tell me, what do you do?"

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

'Don't worry about my husband. He's never home early since he started working for the mafia.'

'Could you tie some trees to him so he'll attract the fish?'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'It's the only way I could get here.'

'Who wants to be Mother f*cker?'

Mafia bird describes himself

"I don't know, boss. I assumed 'Sammy The Seal' was like a nickname or something."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

'Dammit! You guys haven't been doing your job. Serious crime is down 10%!'

"Then bring a smaller gun next time."

'I don't care what is politically correct... hench person just doesn't sound right.'

'Swimming with fishes - goodo - I've done whales and dolphins.'

'I think you have the wrong idea,sonny!'

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'