Gaming Theorist Pillows

'They've led our breakthroughs in gaming theory.'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Davos.

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'I want a computing system that has a few more games programmed into it.'

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

Solitaire card shark.

'When the music stops, sit down in the nearest chair. Whoever doesn't get a chair is redundant.'

'Maybe it's me, but I have a feeling we're being used as pawns.'

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

'Then it's agreed - we all keep our arms raised until someone blinks.'

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game

Football Thinker

No Strike Zone Man.

Rock, paper, scissors

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

'Rock beats scissors, sanctions it is!'

Peel as the Knave of Spades

'This is not what we meant, Snider, when we asked for a thorough study of the laws of gravity.'

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

Chess boxing

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

Footballer plays in labyrinth.

"Do you ever wanna get back in the game?"

Political Collaboration.

'It stands for, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'.'

If chess allowed gerrymandering.

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"