Gamer-turned-athlete Gifts

Indoor Football

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

City Marathon.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Currently Boston

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

Teenage Angst.

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Children's party - Pin the Tail using a tablet

'Swing?! I'll drop my handheld!'

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

Professional football.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Rugby Mad.

'You've been on that Video Game all Day. Go outside and play.'

The Off-Season