Gamer-turned-athlete Gifts

Indoor Football

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

City Marathon.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Currently Boston

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

Teenage Angst.

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Children's party - Pin the Tail using a tablet

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

'Swing?! I'll drop my handheld!'

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

Professional football.

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

"Amazing! It's a new world record folks!"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Rugby Mad.

The Off-Season