Gallery Wanderer Gifts

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

The Big Picture

'Sure she's got a nice smile, but is it art?'

'... And this is Picasso's: The bad plastic surgeon. '

'This was bestowed by a famous philanthropist before he made his fortune.'

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'So what exactly are you trying to say.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Eye test art

Nude model looking at her portrait.

Painting of boat is tilted with water on bottom.

'I call it 'No Admittance'.'

"This is one of the artist's unstarted works."

Artist and art critic

'I have one just like this at home. My five year old son painted it.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'By the time the artist has started work on these still life he had sadly lipped into chronic alcoholism.'

'Your best bet would be to go right up Madison Ave., and turn at this corner on to 89th St.'

Modern Art.

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

People admire a freshly painted wall

"This is our first recession together."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"The price of one million five is the highest price ever paid for a Blanchard."

"It's almost as if you can get lost in it, Timmy. Timmy?"

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

"And yes, most of you could have done this."

Abstract portrait art.

An artist gazing longingly at at painting of an artist selling a painting

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"The more I lean, the more I like it."

"Boy, the eyes really follow you around the room."

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

Sketches From the Picture Gallery by Daumier - 'This year again,,, The Venus... always The Venus and nothing but The Venus... as if there were any women with such figures'

The Arts Exhibition of 1857 - Sad appearance of the sculpture placed amongst the pictures