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Please Do Not Pounce on Art

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

The Rise of Modern Art

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I read 'Art News.'"

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

Private Viewing

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

The perfectionist.

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"It's a great work!"

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"He's left out the staples"

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"If that were a Jasper Johns, dear, we could sell it for three million dollars."

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

Free Artist with Each Purchase

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

Cat art exhibition.

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

"Those old guys really had it!"

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'It's an organic still life.'

'So colour is this artist's vocabulary huh! Well his language is to colourful for me!'