Gallery-goer With Pets Gifts

Art Pets

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'Projectile painting.'

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"Labradoodle"

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Private Viewing

Artists Cats

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Francoise Gilot

"It's a great work!"

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

Understanding art.

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

"It's my latest work...I only vomited it this morning."

Kid see shadow from mom as mom see shadow in painting.

Tracey Emin's Bed

"Now that's art!"

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

"Is this 'pollocks'."

Exhibition for Prisoners

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

The Big Picture

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

'It's from his, ‘Hey, my kid could do better than that' period.'

'Imagine the damage he could have done as a corporate accountant...'

'Note his bold brush strokes, Fred...'

'I wonder if he faked it?'