Galapagos Guru T-Shirts

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'But what is the universe for?'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Government and Opposition

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

Sculptor's chippings

The wave of immigration issues about to hit Obama's plan and the Supreme Court ruling.

"With great power comes great reward."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

'Of course we're a global corporation. We have mail drops throughout the world.'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

House vs. Senate

New World Orders

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'