Galactic Job Hunter Gifts

"Have you travelled far?"

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'Have you got a resume?'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"Do you have any other qualities to offer apart from loyalty?"

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"