Galactic Government Wannabe T-Shirts

I for one welcome our new alien overlords

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Save Our Universe

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Save our Planet.

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

"You're not going anywhere, young man, until you probe and release your catch!"

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

Barack Skywalker

"Do you think there is life on other plants?"

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

'The fact that you like Tang really doesn't qualify you to be an astronaut.'

Branson space shot

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

Serious business

Getting to Know You

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Here is your new planet."

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"I told you to slow down."

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

"Greetings! We come in peace and seek only a meaningful relationship."