Galactic Tax Hero T-Shirts

'I don't want to fight the evil Emperor of the Galaxy! †I want to do my taxes!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Branson space shot

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

The New IRS

"Our property taxes went up agian."

'Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy.'

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Sounds like a man who never had a tax return audited.

I for one welcome our new alien overlords

'The businessman's lunch is just like the regular lunch, sir, except that it's more heavily taxed.'

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?