Cosmic Tax Handler T-Shirts

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Science fiction fans on other planets

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Shoot For The Moon

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

The Older Testament: An Origin Story

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

A Space Walk