Gag Gift Gatherer Pillows

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.