Gag Gift Gatherer Pillows

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.