Gadget-free Adventurers T-Shirts

It's Rudy's annual treecation – A low-cost vacation spent sitting under his tree. This year, a twist: His gadgets have lost battery life and his portable generator is out … Don't panic. Maybe this is a battery tree. Just leaves. Or maybe there's an outlet. Bark. What kind of tree is this?! Proudly powered by sun and roots.

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Is Driving Doomed?

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

Take me to your leader. . .

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

Camp Wilderness.

Tourists and GPS

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

'There's no WiFi, the phones out of range and the TV doesn't work. Our weekend getaway is ruined!'

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

"I'm going somewhere without cell service because I'm incapable of turning my phone off myself."

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

Although I loathe you with a passion, I've decided to put you in my will. I'm rich! On one condition. Name it. Your inheritance cannot be spent on anything that blinks, beeps, buzzes, charges, flashes … boots up, plugs in, takes batteries … Whoa, hold up … emails, downloads, texts, web-surfs, or in any way prevents you from getting out in the world and interacting in person with other human beings. It can't be spent on any of that nonsense … but … Yes? … But it does have to be walked twice a day

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

'You'll have to get the kids to explain it to you — it's some new thing called the 'internet.''

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

“So much for Google Maps.”

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

'Instead of a reverse mortgage, we've decided on a reverse lifestyle.'

"There's another tree with a phone charger. Apparently, Mother Nature is adapting to our need for technology."

"I brought my own nature sounds."

No Phone Signal For 20 Miles. Trauma Counselors Standing by. . .

"I wonder what our phones are doing right now."

Candle

Since winning Lotto, I stay only in five-star hotels: No need for a shell anymore...

Here's our cabin. Isn't it spectacular? It's awfully quiet. Exactly! No traffic. No motor boats. No malls. Not even any bars! No bars?!

"Get off the internet and get a life."