Future Wedding Planner Gifts

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

Pipe Dream.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Three more years of high school."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'He does.'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'I always cry at weddings!'

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"