Wedding Planner Extraordinaire Gifts

"He's in the middle of a big hand! Is it important?"

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

Prenuptial Wedding Cake

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

'I want a big wedding with all the trimmings! So you're going to have to find a better paid career.'

'Until global warming and climate change to you part.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'He does.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I always cry at weddings!'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Wedding disaster #27.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'