Future Telling Pillows

'Now might be a good time to tell your wife where you keep your insurance policies.'

Crystal Goldfish Bowl

'You are being completely duped by a stranger! She says she can foretell your future, but she is just a con artist...'

ESP Clinic

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"One year closer to college!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"Why bother?"

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Asking out a palm reader.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Pie Filling Reader

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Your future looks charming.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."