Future Predicting Pillows

Fortune Teller looks aghast at what she shes in her crystal ball.

'Sorry, but I can't see you ever moving to Tahiti...'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Crap from the future.

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"It will be all your fault."

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Pessimists v Optimists.

Groundhog. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, Ernie. We can't expect an early spring if your umbrella is the only reason he's not seeing his shadow.

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

Futuristic Teenagers.

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

Budgetmageddon

New Year 2020

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

What will happen in the world

"As your new President I shall govern by algorithm."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Fortune teller sees impending doom