Future Technophile Gifts

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"The humans would have really enjoyed this."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and added a few gifts. It pays to have computer skills."

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

"This is it? No video?"

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"The record player is skipping again."

"I need to take the batteries out of that one."

Computer Head

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Copier is hypnotizing office worker.

The Line-up

"Why are smart systems so stupid?"

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

'Isn't that cute? - She has an imaginary Facebook friend!'

"I was hoping it was one of those smart rakes that rakes the yard for mee..."

We're replacing you with a robot that also does nothing, but does it more efficiently.

"I have no problem with A.I."

Milkshake Shortage

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

'You're never alone when you've got a phone.'

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

We're teaching using the 'show and tell' method,we show them where the training website is and tell them how to use it!

Man says 'It's time to embrace new technology', computer replies: 'I'm not hugging you until you get these sticky notes off me.'