Future Soldiers Gifts

"He wants to be a Navy Seal when he grows up."

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

Why Crabs Make Lousy Soldiers.

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

Playing Doctors.

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"It's your turn, kid."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

It's okay. This interrogation technique was approved by Cheney himself.

"Let's face it Simkins, the only way you'll ever get to medical school is by donating your body to science."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

Eventually I'd like to major in cosmetic surgery.

'I'd like to be all I can be!' - Recruitment Centre

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

'Oh no! A Portuguese Man of War.'

'Someday I'll go to school like the big kids!'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'Don't feel bad. Maybe your son is just a late bloomer.'

'Thank you.'

Puss in Bootcamp

'I'm not playing - I don't trust you!'

“Why do you want to join the navy lad?”