Future Smartphone Addict Gifts

"Your essential needs change as you get older. Soon you'll be out of that diaper and into a smartphone."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

The Smartass Phone

"Noooooooooooo!"

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

Modern Narcissism

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"Honey, what's the weather like outside?" "Hold on, let me check..."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones

Family Time

"Sorry, no narcissists allowed."

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

Pizza Delivery Delays

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

Man-mobile

For some reason, whenever they're around me, they get out their phones.

'Please, pay attention.'

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

Social Media Blues

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

Able to Google Stuff Man

Evolution