Future Medication Fanatics Gifts

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

Meds Toast

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

Medical Supplies

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

Dr. Glitch. Eye, ear, nose and USB port.

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'I have a lot of stock in Zorex Drugs, and I only want medicine that they make.'

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'Since when have they started advertising placebos on TV?'

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

Roy felt it was important to act out any side effects that a prescription might cause.