Future Med School Graduate Gifts

"Until my diplomas come back from the framer I don't feel comfortable giving you a diagnosis."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Little doctor.

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'What's holding him up?'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

En garde!

"Gross."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'