Future Marketing Guru Pillows

"Sales are up 38% since the name change."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Target your customer.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

A close shave on the Titanic...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

Your ad here!

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

London Olympics.

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

The White House's Trojan Horse