Digital Marketing Guru Pillows

"S**t. Now I gotta hashtag it."

'We let viewers skip our ads in 15 seconds because by that time we've already collected all the browsing data we need!'

"Do you get the impression poster companies don't like us?"

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Likes: $2.

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

I should probably get out more.

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Target your customer.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Connected to Technology.

"It's not an actual hotdog, but digital ownership in a picture of an actual hotdog."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Man doing a search on a computer

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'