Digital Marketing Professional Pillows

Better Living Through Technology

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

You.com

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

Expected Wait: 6 Texts, 3 Tweets, 2 Emails.

Spam traps on mobiles

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Lynching on social media

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Online form - Submit.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Apples for sale

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Team Leader

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Go team!

CEO with SEO

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"#Win!"

"You know, there are other emojis."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Likes: $2.

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.