Future Golf Pro Parent Pillows

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Baby, baby maker

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Baby Footballer

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"Did you want to know if the baby's a boy or a girl?"

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

We decided that a puppy would be good practice before having a baby.

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'