Future Golf Pro Parent Pillows

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby, baby maker

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Baby Footballer

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'