Parenting Golfer Pillows

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Baby Footballer

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"This paternity leave plays havoc with your handicap."

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

'I think Kenny's finally accepted fatherhood - he said he was off to play football with the kids.'

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

"I am standing up straight."

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.

"Dad, get your own sandbox!"

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

Another Rugby Star is Born.

'Hey Dad? Just in case you were wondering, for Christmas Mom was asking for an iPod, an X-Box and a Hannah Montana doll.'

It's nice they can all join in, isn't it? Yes! My kids wiping the floor with your kid!

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.

'I just felt it kick again, Charlie - I think he's going to be a football superstar!'

Thank you for not flying into a rage and pummeling the ref!!

'Of course I bailed you out - you've got soccer tonight.'

"Here's the umbilical cord, and here's the controller."

Had to run the kids to soccer. There's a can of microwave slop on the counter.