Future Gi Joe Gifts

'I'd like to be all I can be!' - Recruitment Centre

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Baby Piano

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

Input From The Front Office

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

Mark Gastineau

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Snowman Football Fan.

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'Can we skip to the part where I charge with a light saber?'

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."