Regular Joe Enthusiast Gifts

"Don is an intellectual and a regular guy."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

Jelly I.V.

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"I'm more concerned about the two bowlfuls of jelly you apparently sit on the rest of the year."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

Old Dog's Home

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

Crimy, Denis, it used to just be you. . . .

Clock in, Clock out.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch

"I'm wearing hospital scrubs and a stethoscope around my neck!"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "What'll it mean if Trump ends up winning?" "Excellent question. It reminds me of questions very few people asked 90 years ago when Mussolini came to power in Italy." "Other questions that went unasked back then: 'Is sucking down smoke all day long bad for me?' 'Is it a bad idea to buy radioactive beauty cream?'" "'Is cocaine really the best remedy for indigestion?!'" "People sure were dumb back then."

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"I don't want a New Year, I want a comfortable, familiar, used year."

'If you're such a great estate planner, why aren't you retired?'

I'm Retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

'Niche market'

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."