Future-finagling Friends Gifts

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

North Pole

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Evolution of Man

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

I just knew this would be dull.

'Oh no, not another tweet!'

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

'Remember our pillow-talk session, Morton, when you said 'the risk of rejection gives love it's existential edge'?'

"Aren't you kids supposed to say 'Trick or Treat'? Hey. I'm talking to you. Hello?"

Careful - Ginger left the sniffing app open, and it shared her scent with everyone.

"Do you see a puppy following me home in the future?"

ESP Clinic

Gardner's question time: 'What plant would the panel recommend for area with no light, no food and no water?'

"So the next time you see the girl you wish to impress, just be yourself. Fulfillment comes when you know who you truly are and where you want to go in life. Thanks for calling Tia Carmen's psychic hotline!"

Mild in the Streets

Shellfie

'Facebook knows me better than you do.'

"My cellphone needs charging. Do you mind if I unplug your life support?"

"Wait a minute! This is the statue of a colonial army general and as politically correct BOC's we can't nest on something like that!"

Need Internet To Manage My Bitcoins

"It's never too early to start pension planning."

Two manly robots learn to be sensitive.

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

I wish you'd come to me sooner. I don't know if you're going to have enough time to save for all five million of your children's college funds.

Robot lady with robot dog

'They carry a device to share images of furry creatures and get into virtual arguments with strangers.'

'Oh dear, oh dearie dearie me...'

'Last night she screwed my eyes out.'