Future Filmmaker Gifts

'I'll participate in Show & Tell only if I retain movie and book rights.'

Whoops, left the tape out. We'll have to start over.

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Congratulations on graduating from the role of Side Kick to playing the Main Character in the movie of your life."

I'm making the definitive sledding video.

'Promise to tell the truth, including the parts you'd prefer to keep for an upcoming book or movie deal?'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"It's easier to take if you think of summer school as bonus footage."

"Wow! Outta sight!"

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Director/Action Man toy.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

'So, you think you can just waltz right in here and start making movies, Mr, Astaire'

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Lord of the Rings IV.

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.