Future Filmmaker Gifts

'I'll participate in Show & Tell only if I retain movie and book rights.'

Whoops, left the tape out. We'll have to start over.

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Congratulations on graduating from the role of Side Kick to playing the Main Character in the movie of your life."

'Promise to tell the truth, including the parts you'd prefer to keep for an upcoming book or movie deal?'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"It's easier to take if you think of summer school as bonus footage."

"Wow! Outta sight!"

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"In this scene, imagine you're sentient and know what feelings are."

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

Film Stuntman School

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'