Future Documentary Star Gifts

"Here you acknowledge the fact that, by opting for cremation, you forfeit the option to be a cool skeleton in a documentary 20,000 years from now."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Kirsten Johnson

Police film evidence

Crocodile

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

A fly on the wall documentary.

'I still say these shots need more action.'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'I'm freezing...The rich list is a little thin this year.'

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

"Ok, don't move. I want to capture the drama and intrigue of your life."