Future Film Director Pillows

'I'll never get to be a really cool criminal. My parents are too nice to me!'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Yearbook

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Stand-up Romcom

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Steve McQueen

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Now Playing at the Europlex

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

Filming Christmas

"Which part are you reading for?"

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.