Future-dentures-funder T-Shirts

When I was young I couldn't wait to get my teeth into some work...now I work to get some teeth.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Your future looks charming.'

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

'He's precocious.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

'Of course the tooth fairy never came. Those were your Grandma's false teeth you put under your pillow.'

Girl holding money.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'

"Someday my grant will come."

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

Boy who has been to the dentist

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'