Future Child Pillows

"We named her Alexa - thinking forward to when she'll be taking care of us."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby, baby maker

Good Luck with your finals.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

In the club.

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

Child walking with balloon which represents global warming.

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'I'm on the way!'

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

"Excuse me. Anyone sitting there?"

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'