Future Boss Of The Pitch Gifts

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

The Goalkeeper

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'Any questions?'

'You want to run that by me again?'

Free Speech has heavy price.

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"What a midfield wizard!"

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

Arsene Wenger

Bring in the baritone. The bass' pitch is too low.

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

'Granted, the Board of Directors didn't think much of your proposal, but I think they'll be impressed by your resilience!'

"Does he respond better to a confident approach or a groveling approach?"

Bowled out.

'My idea is to beg you to give me some money.'

The spanish coronation

'What's the big deal - scoring is what you're paid squillions to do?'

Football Deity.

Connor Wickham

'I don't take no for an answer. I give it.'