Future Beauty Queens Pillows

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

Miss America IQ Pageant

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

The return of Miss Subways

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

Mary Christmas preparing for her big night out.

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

Circus Pageant

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

'Ok, ok... I'm coming but with all those CCTV camera about I like to look my best.'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

'Botox you fool! not buttocks!'

Model's aspirations

'Look! Mum's furious at the cost of her botox treatment'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"Life's a bleach, and then you dye..."

Miss America IQ pageant.

Beauty contest

Headline: Miss World moved to London - 'Why so much fuss about a woman getting stoned?'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”